The Fuzzball Chronicles: the Life and Times of Curly Mommy

Yardboy and I met T and her husband about 12 years ago. They would do just about anything for us, as we would for them. T is like a sister to me. We even argue like sisters. Yardboy and T's husband get along very well. T's children and our children love each other too. Ahhhh, friends. I got a call from T this evening. She had a favor to ask. T said she needed someone "brutally honest" and that I was the most "brutally honest" person she knew. I must admit, I consider honesty to be one of my best and worst qualities. I am learning to speak the truth in love. I think I do a better job of keeping my mouth shut than I did 12 years ago. Nevertheless, she did call the right person. What does she want me to do? She and her husband want me to smell their new house to determine if it smells like cat urine. They figured I would know what feline pee smells like since I have a cat. I couldn't stop laughing! Of course, I'd love to so the sniff test on the new hom...

I LOVE this video!

Little Man was just watching Playhouse Disney when a short clip about cows and milk came on. Shocked, Little Man came over to me and exclaimed, "Mommy, people were touching that cow's private parts!" I explained to him that they were milking the cow and it was okay. He looked confused. He repeated, "They were touching the cow's private parts!" I told him that those were the cow's boobies and that is how the farmers get the milk out. I wish I had a picture of him at that instant. The disgusted look was priceless. His next comment was, "That's yucky! The milk was coming out of the cow's private parts!" I wonder what he will say this afternoon when I offer him a cup of milk. Breastfeeding the new baby should be interesting too. We will see...

Little Man started preschool today. He loved it last year, and I think he will enjoy it again this year too. I had clothes picked out for him, but he didn't like what I chose. He picked these out all by himself. He loves this huge backpack. Diego is the best! "A mosquito-spider bit my finger." I checked it out and couldn't see anything. He was fine just a minute later.

My friend sent this to me in an email. I just have to share it: Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 17 th 2008 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. ...

Tater is going to a brand new school today. I don't mean just new to her--the school is new. Today is the opening day of our community's most recent charter school, Imagine School . She is so excited to be a big first-grader. Tater loves her new uniforms. We will see what she thinks of them after wearing them day, after day, after day.

Tomorrow I will begin my 25 th week of pregnancy and things are going just fine. I am feeling great most of the time. The minor discomforts of the second trimester are so much easier to tolerate than the nausea of the first trimester. This baby seems to move more than my other two did. She is now big enough that others can easily feel her move when they place a hand on my belly. Sometimes, she moves so vigorously that I can see my belly move. I can eat what I want, in large quantities. But, I'm beginning to have heartburn. Soon, I will have to be more careful about what I eat and how much I eat. Zantac will become my best friend. I stay inside most of the day to avoid the heat. Today the high temperature was 97 degrees. However, the heat is not as bad as I expected it to be. I was comfortable in church this morning, but the pregnant lady in front of me seemed like she was about to melt. She is six weeks further along, so I wonder if her intense heat intolerance is personal differ...

Ever since Tater was an infant, we have been visiting dermatologists for her eczema. I think we have seen four different dermatologists. Some of the treatments helped, and some didn't help at all. Nothing cured. The rashes always came back, worse than before. In the last week, Tater went to the doctor four times. The first time was for an allergic reaction which made her eyes swell terribly. Two of the visits were follow-up to the first visit. Yesterday we went to the allergist for testing. The allergy test wasn't too bad. She said it hurt, but she didn't cry. Her pulmonary function test went great. She does not have asthma. The cat and I are very pleased that Tater isn't allergic to him. He was in danger of losing his home, but is safe now. She isn't allergic to dust mites or mold. The doctor laughed when he told me not to clean my house. We don't have to remove our nasty carpet, or cover the pillows and mattresses. He said not to change anything in the house. ...

Last night, around 9:15, when my kids were supposed to be asleep, I heard horrible screaming coming from the bedroom. I went into the bedroom and saw Tater touching Little Man's face. Little Man was the one screaming. I quickly told them both to get back in bed and leave each other alone. That is when Tater told me that she saw Little Man shove a Light Bright peg up his nose and that it wouldn't come out. I took my son to the living room and grabbed a flash light. I thought I could see a green peg way up there, so I grabbed the tweezers. All the tweezers did was cause more screaming and pushed the peg further into his nose. Yardboy got out a bulb syringe and tried to suck the thing out. It didn't work. Screaming resumed. As long as we weren't touching his nose, Little Man's only complaint was that he couldn't breathe. We decided to leave it alone and call for advice. I immediately thought of calling my parents. Dad was a paramedic for many years and Mom is a sch...

This morning was cleaning time. I was doing dishes, bathrooms, laundry, floors... Vacuuming was really frustrating! I don't like seeing all of the stains that I have been unable to remove, or just haven't gotten around to cleaning. The stains are embarrassing. I began noticing the spots and recalling what caused each of them. Here are a just a few examples: *Silly Putty in Tater's room* We didn't find it until months after the incident . I recently learned that she mixed the Silly Putty with glue before it was smashed into the carpet. *Red Jello in the dining room* This was the Jello that the kids proudly made for Father's Day . I think Little Man dropped it, but I'm not sure. I think I can get it out if I try. *Popsicles, yogurt, pudding, milk, juice, and various other edibles/potables in the living room* Yes, living room. I allow the kids to watch cartoons while eating afternoon snack. I know, bad idea for protecting carpet, but you live and learn, right? Well...

My dad took this picture of Little Man last weekend. I just had to share it.

This is Tater's fourth birthday cake. I have been looking for this picture two years, and I finally found it! It came a little late, but I thought I would share it anyway. Tater was really into a collection of stories called Usborne's Farmyard Tales. This was my best effort to represent some of the characters. The pig's name is Curly, the dog, Rusty, and I have no idea what the chicken's name is. I used a can of spray coloring to make the cake blue and learned a big lesson. Spray the cake outside! Everything in the kitchen ended up blue. I had to mop the floor after I realized that Tater and I had blue feet and were tracking the color onto the carpet. Oh, I must have inhaled a lot of the stuff too. For days I had blue snot. Yes, I know, probably too much information, but it was amazing. How about that drink can? Nice.

Of course, for the first several months the new baby will sleep in the bedroom with Yardboy and me. When she outgrows the cradle we don't know where she will go. Staying in our room for years is out of the question. Co-sleeping with an older infant or toddler means nursing all night long. Been there. Done that. I don't want to do it again. I would love for her to have her own bedroom, but we have a three bedroom house. The most obvious solution would be to let her share a room with Tater or Little Man. Siblings share rooms all of the time, right? Yardboy shared a room with one of his sisters for several years. I roomed with my brother for a very short time too. Do we let the girls share a room. Tater will be 6 1/2 years older than the baby. Where will we put all of Tater's choking hazards--ummm, I mean toys? Where will Tater go when she needs some time to herself? Do we let her room with Little Man? He will be 3 1/2 years older than his little sister. How long is is okay to...

Mom, Dad, and Cabbagehead came over to our house for Father's Day lunch. We had Greek dip, salad, steak, potatoes, bread, fruit salad, Jell-O, and of course, sweet tea. Lunch was great, even if I do say so myself. Little Man was the potato washer and maker of strawberry Jell-O. Tater was the strawberry slicer and maker of cherry Jell-O. Daddy (my Yardboy) Papa (my Dad) I gave Yardboy this book. Remember Kevin Nealon from Saturday Night Live ? It's never a good idea to ask a woman if she's pregnant. If she's not, you're in huge trouble. I don't care if she's in the delivery room and the baby is halfway out. I would just play it safe and say, 'Excuse me, you got a little something on your leg, there.'" --Kevin Nealon

GIRL! Yardboy took me to the imaging center today for my "official" 20 week ultrasound. The baby was very cooperative. SHE showed us everything we needed to see. Tonight at dinner we were talking with Little Man and Tater about the baby. Tater is excited about having a little sister. Little Man's eyes welled up as he cried, " Nooooo , I wanted a boy!" He lightened up a little when I told him that he would be the ONLY brother. Little Man has insisted all along that the baby is going to be named "Suzie," because, "Suzie is a boy name." He still likes the name the name for a girl. Tater has insisted all along that the baby is going to be a girl. A few weeks ago she decided that she wanted to name the baby "Mot," because, "M-O-T spells Mot." She has also suggested "Kayla" and "Cindy." I informed the kids that they will not be naming the baby sister, Yardboy and I will. I guess we have to start thinking ab...

Little Man had an appointment with the endocrinologist this week. Before the appointment, LM repeatedly asked if the doctor was going to stick him with a " meedle ." I honestly didn't know if he had to do blood work, so I tried to be positive as I said, " Hmm , I don't know sweetie." The appointment went well and no blood draw was needed. Little Man gained two pounds and grew one inch in the last visit three months. Hooray! He is now 33 inches tall and weighs 25 pounds. That still leaves him at the zero percentile, but hey, he grew! Now we up his Increlex to 14 units twice daily, and go back for measurement in three months.

Tater went on her first date last night. A little young? Nah, I think her date is an honorable guy. He treated her like a princess. Yardboy took Tater to the Daddy Daughter Dance at church. I don't know which one of them was more excited. They had a great time! Little Man and I went out on a date too. We went out to a very special restaurant. Well, he thought McDonald's was special. After "dinner" we went went to the cheap theatre and saw "Horton Hears a Who." My date was ready to leave half way through the movie, but I managed to convince him to stay until the end. After all, I did pay $3.50 for us to get in!