Wednesday, January 31

Little Man's Growth


The four of us loaded up and went to see the pediatric endocrinologist this morning. I can't believe that we actually got there early!

Before he could see the doctor, I had to get Little Man's records sent over from the primary doctor's office and get the referral number from our HMO. Both of these things should have been there, but our regular doctor's office dropped the ball. I was so frustrated, but managed to get everything taken care of without losing my temper. The endocrinology office staff was very nice and understanding.

The doctor we saw is world renowned for his work in diabetes and growth, so we feel pretty comfortable with him. He isn't a tall man, is probably in his early sixties, truly loves kids, has a beard, and wears Birkenstock sandals. He is a really nice guy with an excellent bedside manner.

We discussed Little Man's lack of symptoms, dietary, and bowel habits at length. He doesn't look or act sick and is developing just fine. He is just super small.

After reviewing his recently faxed chart, the doctor said that all of his previous labs looked fine. The only additional lab that he wanted to do was to test for gluten intolerance.

I am confident that Little Man doesn't have any problems with gluten, so I'm not too concerned about the lab test.

In the past, our pediatrician thought Little Man wasn't getting enough calories. So,I added cream and butter to nearly everything that passed the boy's lips. I also kept a journal of EVERYTHING he consumed. After months of that, our primary doctor said that he thought calorie intake was not the issue, so I stopped worrying about how much he ate. Now that I think about it, his rate of growth didn't seem to change at all , regardless of how much effort I put into adding calories.

The endocrinologist thinks his growth might be related to his calorie intake, because everything else seems to be normal. So, we are back to adding calories everywhere we can. Bring on the butter, cream, and sugar. If Little Man wants to eat it, I am going to give it to him. Of course, I won't allow anything like high fructose corn syrup, trans fats... I'll try my best to fill him full of fruits and veggies, but I know he is going to be consuming loads of cheese, whole wheat fig bars, Yo Baby Yogurt, oat bran sesame sticks, ice cream, Gold Fish Crackers, and Pediasure. Little Man already has a serious sweet tooth. I fear that will only get worse, but he's you gotta grow. Right?

I scheduled a return visit for May 18, the day after his second birthday. If things haven't changed, then we will do further testing.

Everyone, thank you for your continued prayers. I'll keep you posted on Little Man's growth, health, and diet.

Sunday, January 28


Okay, it is time for another post about Celebrate Recovery. It is interesting to me that I get very few comments when I discuss my "issues." Feel free to chime in.

On Friday night I tried out the Codependent Small Group. Boy, did I ever fit in there!

If you read some of my earlier posts, then you know just how much I let the troubles of others' drag me down.

I take their troubles and make them my own.

I try to help or fix the issues or fix the person (not that I have ever succeeded).

I obsess about their problem to the point of dreaming about them and having physical symptoms of stress (nausea, abdominal pain, muscle pain, headaches).

I get really depressed.

I get anxious if I can't talk to my project person. Why won't they answer the stupid phone? What if they committed suicide? What if they are in the hospital? What if? What if? What if?

I get angry if they don't fix the issue, if someone else continues to hurt them, if they won't seek help, or if they relapse into more bad behavior.

I second guess myself constantly. Why did I say that? Did I offend them? What if they don't like me anymore? Maybe that is why they won't answer the phone.

Mercy is one of my spiritual gifts. Go figure, I went to school for four years to become and "angel of mercy." I have to learn how to use my gift in a way that doesn't destroy me or the object of my love and mercy.

Friday, January 26

Little Man's Heart

We went to see the Pediatric Cardiologist today. Little Man weighs 19 pounds 1 ounce and is 29 inches long. The nurse did a 12 lead electrocardiogram. Little man didn't like the "stickers" but loved the sparkly, musical, magic wand that the she showed him. A few minutes later the doctor examined him. We were very pleased to hear him say that Little Man has an innocent murmur.

This text from “Innocent Murmurs” by the American Heart Association.

Innocent Murmur

When your doctor says your child has an "innocent" heart murmur, don't be alarmed. An innocent murmur is just what the name implies - innocent or normal. Innocent murmurs are sounds made by the blood as it circulates through the chambers and valves of the heart or through blood vessels near the heart. They are sometimes called by other names such as "functional murmurs" or “vibratory murmurs."
Your child's doctor can hear these murmurs by listening to your child's heart through a stethoscope. When your child's heart rate changes, such as during excitement or fear, the innocent murmurs may become louder or softer. This still does not mean that the murmur is abnormal.
Innocent murmurs are common in children and are quite harmless. In fact, they are so common that in any group of children, a large percentage is likely to have had one at some time. Innocent murmurs may also disappear and then reappear, and many innocent murmurs disappear for good when a person reaches adulthood.
Sometimes, when your doctor first hears a murmur, he or she may want to have other tests done to be sure the murmur is innocent. After that, there is no need for a cardiac re-evaluation unless you or your doctor have further concerns. So, if you have been told that your child has an innocent heart murmur, don't worry. Your child's heart is entirely normal. He or she needs no medication, does not need to take antibiotics for dental procedures, will have no cardiac symptoms, and does not have a heart problem or heart disease. You don't need to pamper your child or restrict his or her diet or activities. Your child can be as active as any other normal, healthy child.

Thank you, everyone, for praying for Little Man!

Thank you, Lord, that Little Man's heart is just fine!

Forgiveness Prayer

A very wise woman sent this prayer to me today in an email:

Father, I lift to you all these people and situations and I forgive them for hurting me, rejecting me, never being present for me. I forgive them for making me feel so unloved, so alone, so guilty and causing me so much pain and for demanding too much from me. I forgive them for making me feel shamed, resentful, jealous, angry, (name emotions you feel). I ask also, Father that you forgive them for doing these things to me and I ask that you forgive me for holding a judgment against all of them. Father, I know you don't need forgiving but I forgive you for allowing me to be in these situations where I received so much pain. I ask now that you fill me with your love for these people and for the Lord Jesus Christ who I believe is your Son, who died for me, was resurrected for me and lives today for me. Please fill me with His love, peace, power, joy, forgiveness and new life in Him. Fill me with your Holy Spirit. In the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

This prayer came from Christian Healing Ministries, Francis and Judith MacNutt.

Thank you, dear friend.

Friday, January 19

Attention Fellow Homeschoolers

As a new homeschooler, the choices regarding curriculum are overwhelming. I need advice.

We are currently doing preschool level work, but next year we will be doing kindergarten stuff.

What have you guys used? Did you like it? Why? Why not?

I would also love to hear from those of you who are trained school teachers. That's you, Crickey. :) What do I need to look for when evaluating materials?

Wednesday, January 10

Going to the Specialists

Little Man is an adorable 20 month old with a great smile, tons of blond hair, and big blue eyes. He is also really, really small. At his 18 month checkup he weighed 18 pounds 3 ounces and wore size 6-9 month clothing. He is growing, just very, very slowly. Thankfully, he is developing perfectly. Currently, he weighs about 19 pounds and most of his clothes are size 12 months.

When I took him in for his 18 month visit I expected to get a referral to a pediatric endocrinologist to check for growth hormone deficiency. We made that appointment for January 31.

What I didn't expect at that visit was a referral to a pediatric cardiologist. Little Man's pediatrician hadn't heard any abnormal heart sounds before. This time he heard a heart murmur.

Little Man seems to have no cardiac symptoms. He runs and plays just fine. His color is perfectly pink. I expect the cardiologist to say that the murmur is not a big deal, and that he will grow out of it. We made that appointment for January 26.

Every night I hold him in my arms and pray, "Dear Lord, Thank you for my sweet little boy. Please make him grow strong and healthy. Make his heart work perfectly. Make me the mother he needs. Let him be a boy who loves You. Let him grow into a man who loves You."

Saturday, January 6


This week we worked on the letter, "E."
This is Tater's playdough sculpture.
She made it all by herself.

Friday, January 5


It is Friday night and we just got home from Celebrate Recovery. Once again, I got so much out of it. Tonight Yardboy and the kids went with me. It was good to have us all in one safe place.

I am working on the first book in the CR program, Stepping Out of Denial into God's Grace, by John Baker. Today I did Lesson 4, Sanity.

Baker states, "Insanity has been described as"doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.""

Then he adds, "Sanity has been defined as "wholeness of mind; making decisions based on the truth.""

My abuse of food, anger, and codependency are all insane behaviors! Repeating those behaviors always ends badly, yet I continue to do them.

It is only with God that I can overcome food addiction, anger, and codependency.

Psalm 73: 26, GNB
"My mind and my body may grow weak, but God is my strength; he is all I ever need."

I Corinthians 10:13
"And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out."

Matthew 6:34. TLB
"So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time."

The lesson ends with a prayer. I changed a few words to make it fit my life better:

Dear Lord, I have tried to "fix" and "control" my anger, food addiction, codependency, and other problems all by myself. I am powerless to change. I need to begin to believe and receive Your power to help me recover. You loved me enough to send Your Son to the cross to die for my sins. Help me be open to the hope that I can find in Him. Please help me start living my life one hour at at time. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen

The original prayer said, "Please help me start living my life one day at at time." Right now an entire day is an unrealistic goal for me. I have to live one hour at a time.

Tuesday, January 2


A good day.

Homeschooling: the letter E

Yardboy home for lunch. :)

Little Man took a 2 hour nap. :) :) :)

Signed for Little Man's medical records at the pediatrician's office. I never trust that the records will actually make it to a specialist, so I take my own copy with me. More on the specialists later.

Purchased leftover Christmas junk at Michael's. I love craft junk and so does Tater.

Paid for a YMCA family membership. Free childcare! Yea, I get a break, but I gotta exercise.

Ate dinner at a locally owned Asian restaurant. I don't know what I actually ate. Yardboy and I split a meal. He picked it out. Lots of egg. SPICY peanut dipping sauce for the spring roll. Little Man was a holy terror! Tater behaved but her voice was way too loud. I had to leave a really good tip. Ugh.

Purchased workout clothes at Target. Yardboy saw the sports bra in the cart and asked why I was buying a jock strap. Huh? Tater was again nice, but way too loud. Little Man was a holier than thou terror! Yardboy took him out to the car while we girls finished shopping.

Benadryl ointment on the bug bites on Tater. We can't figure out where she got them. We checked Cat for fleas. None. It is warm here. Maybe mosquitoes yesterday playing in T's yard.

Pajamas, toothbrushes, lullabies, prayers, kisses.

Go back to bed Tater.

Go back to bed Tater.

Go back to bed Tater.

Oral Benadryl for Tater serves two purposes. "I'll be in there to rub your back in 15 minutes, if you stay in bed!"

Yardboy trying to organize the garage.

House a mess. Too many toys. Nobody cleans up after themselves.

Time for blog therapy. Need to read my Bible and do my devotion. Need to study breastfeeding junk. Need to email MOPS table members. Need to help Yardboy in garage. Need to plan Tater's school work for tomorrow. Need to clean something, anything.

Want something sweet, or salty, or both.

Should just go to bed, but I won't.