Sunday, January 28

Codependency

Okay, it is time for another post about Celebrate Recovery. It is interesting to me that I get very few comments when I discuss my "issues." Feel free to chime in.

On Friday night I tried out the Codependent Small Group. Boy, did I ever fit in there!

If you read some of my earlier posts, then you know just how much I let the troubles of others' drag me down.

I take their troubles and make them my own.

I try to help or fix the issues or fix the person (not that I have ever succeeded).

I obsess about their problem to the point of dreaming about them and having physical symptoms of stress (nausea, abdominal pain, muscle pain, headaches).

I get really depressed.

I get anxious if I can't talk to my project person. Why won't they answer the stupid phone? What if they committed suicide? What if they are in the hospital? What if? What if? What if?

I get angry if they don't fix the issue, if someone else continues to hurt them, if they won't seek help, or if they relapse into more bad behavior.

I second guess myself constantly. Why did I say that? Did I offend them? What if they don't like me anymore? Maybe that is why they won't answer the phone.


Mercy is one of my spiritual gifts. Go figure, I went to school for four years to become and "angel of mercy." I have to learn how to use my gift in a way that doesn't destroy me or the object of my love and mercy.

3 comments:

Crickey said...

I'm impressed with how clearly you've been able to analyze the problem. Sounds like CR is really good.

I'm thrilled for you. And I love you dearly!

Curly Mommy said...

Crickey,
Yes, CR is amazing!

As they say at CR, everyone has a hurt, habit, or hangup.

If you want to visit sometime, then just come on. It is every Friday night at 7:00. If you can make it there by 6:00, you can eat dinner for $5.

I love you too! Squeeze the baby for me.

cheri said...

Faced with a large group of people with many problems (such as at our local food pantry), I have realized that there is no way I can 'fix' any of them, let alone all of them. I can't even 'fix' myself!

I am learning to bring them as a group and as individuals before our Heavenly Father - the only one with the power to help them through their current circumstances, guide them in the way they should go and turn their hearts toward Him.

But it is very tempting to take on their troubles myself.....