Wednesday, February 28

Smiley Boy

Smiley Boy is one year old! We are still praying and thanking God for him.

Check out this miracle baby's story on his parents' blogs:

Drason's Hat (Smiley Boy's Dad)

The Big Adventure (Smiley Boy's Mom)

Tuesday, February 27

Well Crickey, Maybe I Will Blog Today

I'm still here, just really busy.

Today is Yardboy's birthday. He is 34 years old.

Happy birthday, my love!

Thursday, February 15


Long ago (well not terribly long ago) my parents lived a charmed life. They had each other and me, their perfect, beautiful, kind daughter.

Five and a half wonderful years later everything changed. Cabbagehead was born.

Before he was born, adults thought it was amusing to ask me what I would do if the baby inside my mama's belly was male.

I told them that I would put him on a leash and attach it to a post just outside my bedroom. I also added that I would only speak to him once a day.

My opinion changed when I saw him through the newborn nursery window. Well, I think I was looking at the right baby. They all looked the same to me.

He was so cute and so sweet. He was MY baby brother and I loved him.

Being so much older afforded me the "opportunity" to help with Cabbagehead's care.

I fed him. Once I tried to sneak a piece of tomato into his scrambled eggs. He screamed when I gave him a bite. I thought he was just being picky about the tomato. I didn't hear Mom tell me to let the eggs cool first.

I changed his diapers, wet and otherwise. I couldn't lift him up to slide the diaper under, so Mom taught him to lift his bottom at the appropriate time.

I babysat him. "Your sister is in charge. You have to do what she says." Insert evil laugh here.

Being so much older afforded me other "opportunities" as well.

I tricked Cabbagehead into letting me put makeup on him. I told him that he would look like a tiger or a lion when I finished. He was a little disappointed by the pink lipstick and blue eyeshadow. Our grandmother was even more disenchanted with the results. Apparently it was a little difficult to remove.

I dressed him up as a "wrestler" once and our mom took pictures. A few years ago Cabbagehead saw the photos and realized that the "wrestling" outfit was really my pink swimsuit.

I had an idea of how to pass the time on a long, boring car ride. I asked him to lay his head in my lap. I then tried to see how long I could let a string of spit drop before having to suck it back up. It was hilarious until I didn't suck the saliva up soon enough. It landed right in his eye! Insert more evil laughter.

There were times when Cabbagehead irritated the crap out of me and he doesn't remember my teenage years with fondness. In spite of our tough times, we get along well now and actually enjoy spending time together (at least I do).

We both really love good food and try to cook together as much as our schedules permit. We nearly ruined the Thanksgiving turkey two years ago, but we had fun doing it. Last fall we even made cheese. Yes, we made cheese! We used cow's milk, but we joked about making human milk cheese. We figured it would be too expensive to make and nobody would buy it, not to mention the FDA regulations.

I could go on writing all night. After all, I do have 25 years worth of dirt on him.

I'll end with this: I love my little brother, even if his head isn't so little.

Monday, February 12

Just when you were sure that I was made of granola...

I remove all doubt!

This is the wrap I wear during belly dancing class!

We joined the YMCA on January 2 and I went to my first belly dancing class that week. I am hooked. Now I spend two hours a week belly dancing at the Y.

I purchased the wrap two weeks ago for $35. Ouch! It was handmade in Egypt. I figured, if I'm going to do it, then I need to do it right.

The next day I learned that the coins and beads are attached by one continuous thread.

How did I learn?

Little Man yanked some of them off! I was so mad! I guess all of those jingle jingle coins are just too much for a 2o month-old to resist.

It took me about an hour to find the place where the thread broke and repair it. Somehow I ended up with an extra coin and missing some beads.

Now my wrap only comes out of the bag for pictures and class.

I considered taking a picture of the wrap while wearing it. I decided that I'll post a picture of me wearing the wrap when there is a little less of me.

Oh, I'm also taking Yoga at the Y too. I guess that adds to the granola factor too.

Wednesday, February 7

The Bed

My dad has a friend named John. Sadly, John's wife was murdered last week.

I was taking a nap this afternoon and this is what I dreamed.

My dad and John were going over a bunch of photos on the computer. The pictures were of John and his late wife, their family...

Dad and John were trying to decide which photo to put in the newspaper. The purpose of the photo was to show the impact of her death on John's life.

John stopped on a photo of the bed he shared with his wife. It was an ornate wrought iron bed with fluffy, feminine linens.

I woke up.

I stayed there in my bed, with a pillow covering my face, thinking about the empty bed in my dream.

I don't know John, but I hurt for him anyway.

This woman had friends, neighbors, a son, grandchildren... but all I could think about was her husband and that empty bed.

I pictured him coming home to a quiet, dark house, all alone, saddened, and fatigued. He would desire warmth, comfort, and rest. However, the very sight of this beautiful bed would bring heartache. He would sleep in the guest room, or on the sofa.

I began to pray, "God, Comfort John. Give him your peace."

Jeremiah 31:13 (New Living Translation)
13 The young women will dance for joy, and the men—old and young—will join in the celebration. I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing.

Matthew 5:4 (New Living Translation)
4 God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Saturday, February 3


Today I had a friend over to visit. I had to clean feverishly before she arrived. The house was so flithy.

I enlisted Tater in the clean up effort. I asked her to pick up the toys, fold her pajamas and put them neatly on her bed, wash her face, brush her teeth...

The last thing I asked her to do was wipe the coffee table with a damp cloth. She obliged without a complaint.

A few minutes later I walked by and heard her singing as she wiped:

Sing sweet nightingale.

Sing sweet nightingale.

Ah ah ah ah ah.

In the Disney movie, this is the song Cinderella sings as she scrubs the floors.

Tater said that yes, she was pretending to be Cinderella.

Does that make me the evil stepmother?

Red Chip, Blue Chip

Last night I got a RED CHIP and another BLUE CHIP!

At Celebrate Recovery, I received a Red Chip to mark 30 days of abstaining from over-eating!

Now, this is a really, really big thing. I have never intentionally lost weight. I have never been even slightly successful on a diet. I have tried South Beach, The Zone, Dr. Phil, Weight Watchers...

The problem was this: I was relying on my own will power, which stinks (I wanted to say "sucks" but it really makes my dad cringe when I use that word, so I won't). Anyway, now I am seeking and relying on God's will. Cool concept, huh? God's will is so much better than mine. My will is fragile, fickle, selfish, impatient. God's will is perfect.

I'm not saying that I have eaten perfectly in the last month. I am saying that I didn't go on any all-out binges. I did stop eating when I realized that I was eating too much. I am learning to analyze my thoughts when I head to the pantry and keep my behavior in check. I am learning to ask God to show me what to do when I don't physically need food.

I should also note that in the last 30 days I have been exercising regularly, and enjoying it. That goes right along with the food addiction. I handed my desire to avoid exercise to God when I gave him my eating problems. He took it and gave me a desire to take care of the body he gave me in return.

I also got a Blue Chip to mark the beginning of my journey to recovery from codependency. It is just a little piece of plastic, but it means so much. It symbolizes the end of sickly relationships and the birth of healthy relationships. God made us social creatures. I am ready to learn how to relate to, be with, serve, and love people the way He intends.

This "road to recovery" is amazing. I am looking forward to what God has in store for me.