Friday, September 29

Yes. Yes. Yes.

My parents and brother gave me a Bible for my 29th birthday. It is side by side New International Version and The Message. I read this today and it was amazing!

Matthew 5:1-12 (New International Version)

The Beatitudes

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:1-12 (The Message)

You're Blessed

1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Matthew 6: 9-13 (New International Version)

The Lord's Prayer

9"This, then, is how you should pray:

" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

Matthew 6: 7-13 (The Message)

The Lord's Prayer

7-13"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Tuesday, September 26

White and Nerdy

Yardboy helped me put the video of his theme song on my blog. Thanks.

Saturday, September 23

The Ballet

Last night Yardboy and I took Tater to the ballet. My dear friend gave her a kid membership to our local ballet company. Tater's ticket was free and we got our tickets at a discounted price. Thanks W.

Tater was so excited. She got to wear her new dress, shoes, socks, and hair bows. She really enjoyed getting all dressed up. I pulled her hair up and she pranced around asking, "How do I look." When we told her that she looked great she said, "Gracias." We forgot to say "De Nada" sot she reminded us.

Grammy came over and cared for Little Man while we were out. Thanks, Mom.

We sat in the very middle of the front row, so nothing obstructed Tater's view. I am pretty sure she flashed the musicians in the pit a few times.

We had a great time. I think this experience has really peaked Tater's interest in ballet class.

We are looking forward to seeing The Nutcracker with W and her family this December.

No More Spots

Little Man is feeling so much better! All of his spots are gone and he is a much happier camper. Whew, one more childhood illness out of the way.

His tests all came back normal. We have to repeat the CBC in one month, but I didn't ask why. He goes back to the doctor for his 18 month checkup in November.

Sunday, September 17

Poor Little Man

Little Man's last few days have been rough.

Friday I took him to the doctor for his 15 month checkup. Dr. M said that he looks wonderfully healthy and is developing normally. He is just really small, below the 3rd percentile for weight and height, as he has been for quite some time now. He weighs 17 pounds 5 ounces.

After taking Tater's lunch to preschool and paying for her to stay late, Little Man and I went to get blood drawn and have a bone age x-ray done.

He was so brave! The lab tech that drew his blood was a pro, and she was so nice. Little Man didn't even flinch. Thanks for praying, everyone.

We had to wait FOREVER in the radiologist's office. Thank goodness they have a great kids' play area. Little Man did a great job for that too.

On the way back to pick up Tater, Little Man crashed for a nice long car nap. Such hard work.

Our evening was pretty uneventful. We played, ate dinner, took a bath, and went to bed.

In the wee hours of Saturday morning Little Man woke up screaming. I put him in my bed and tried to go back to sleep. He was really fussy, burning up, and wanted to nurse constantly. Around 3:00 I got up and gave him some Advil. He was so hot.

Saturday was a fussy day. Tylenol didn't seem to help at all, and didn't touch the fever. We then stuck to Advil. Saturday night he topped out at 102.9 degrees. We took a bath and that got it back down to 101.

The fever broke early Sunday morning, but the fussiness didn't leave. He began refusing to nurse. He would take one or two good sucks, pull off, grab his mouth, and begin to cry.

When the sun came up, I noticed that he had a white blister on the corner of his mouth and two little blisters on the inside of his lower lip. What? I thought we were done. The fever was only the beginning.

Yardboy and Tater went to church and I stayed home with Little Man.

By the time they got home, he had several spots on his mouth, hands, feet, and bottom. I think Little man has hand-foot-mouth disease. Yardboy and I were wondering why it isn't called hand-foot-mouth-ass disease.

I called my mother (also an RN) and told her of my suspicion. She agreed. I called my friend who's kid had it when he was a baby. She agreed. I did some research online. Internet agreed. Poor Little Man has hand-foot-mouth disease, not to be confused with hoof and mouth disease. That's cows.

The poor baby tried to nurse. He screamed. He tried to eat bananas. He screamed. He tried to drink from his cup and was somewhat successful. Then he screamed.

He needed to take in more fluids, so I offered his cup. He refused it and he refused to even try more bananas. I got him to drink a little sweet tea from a straw. Then I melted some cheese on a flour tortilla and he got really excited, until he tried to eat it. He screamed. We did get him to eat some shredded cheese. He acted like it hurt his mouth, but he ate it anyway. He really likes cheese. After the cheese, we coaxed him into trying some icecream. That was great. Have you ever seen anyone eat icecream with their fingers?

Little Man is now medicated and asleep. It took an hour to get him settled down. His eyes look tired and his mouth is swollen. I expect him to wake up soon. He will spend most of the night in bed with Yardboy and me.

Hand-foot-mouth disease is supposed to be a very short, mild illness. I can't wait for him to be over it. I hope my friend's kids didn't catch it.

Here is a good website:

Saturday, September 16


I have been sitting here for 30 minutes and I can't think of anything intelligent to say. This is pretty sad. Writer's block already. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Friday, September 15

A Great Gift

Yardboy can be so sweet sometimes.

Sunday, while I was taking a nap, he ordered something online. Aparently it was pretty hard to find item.

When I woke up, he informed me that I was not allowed to check the mail this week. He said that he ordered a Christmas present for me.

What? I can't peek? Okay. I didn't peek, but I wanted to.

It arrived yesterday and he couldn't wait to give it to me. Yea!

What's this? A DVD?

We saw the movie in August 1999 while we were in Bar Harbor, Maine. Three Seasons, a film by Tony Bui, is the first American film to be made in Vietnam since Bill Clinton lifted the embargo. It is complete with subtitles. :) This is what the back of the DVD box says:

"In the early hours of the New Vietnam, four strangers in Saigon find themselves suddenly expatriates in their own country, passed over by the "improvements" of Western progress. As the hauntingly beautiful old city of Saigon fades inth the shadows of neon lights, Coca Cola signs, plastic lotus flowers and other symbols of the Western invasion, these character's paths begin to cross. Stories merge to paint a portrait of a country in transition, the last moments of a culture which, through a second invasion by its former enemy, will never be the same again: Kien An is a living memory of the old ways, living a seemingly unchanged by the passage of time; Lan has reinvented herself as someone who can survive in the cold-hearted-capitalist world; Hai bridges the two worlds on his cyclo; James Hager is a reminder of the country's ravaged past; and young Woody is a symbol of the future. "
After the kids went to bed, we cuddled up on the couch and watched. It was a rare, quiet, romantic moment.
Thanks for being so thoughtful. I love you.

Tuesday, September 12

The Miscarriage

My dear friend K took care of Tater while we were in the OB/Gyn office. Yardboy and I were shaken, scared, and heartbroken.

I can still hear the horrible words of the midwife that did my ultrasound, "That's an empty uterus, that's an empty uterus." She was so cold. I didn't get any pictures--it was too late. My body got rid of everything on its own.

I was five or six weeks along when I miscarried, at least the time I knew about. I wonder if I've lost more pregnancies than that one. When I have cycles, they are very irregular and very far apart. I know I have issues with progesterone. That makes me wonder if those irregularities were miscarriages due to low hormone levels. I guess I will never know, at least not before I go to heaven.

I had mixed feelings about my miscarriage. I was sad, of course. I felt like I lost a baby, but mostly I felt like I lost the potential of a baby. I even felt like I had no right to be sad. After all, it was still so early.

The week after I lost the pregnancy, my best friend L and I went to the funeral of a four day old baby. Our friend M lost one of her twins to a brain defect called Vein of Galen Malformation. It was heart wrenching for us both! L had been on clomid for almost a year and I was still bleeding from my miscarriage. I think we cried for ourselves as much as we cried for M. I would cry for her, then cry for myself, then feel guilty for crying for myself, then cry for L, who had never even been pregnant (that she knew of).

I felt like M had the right to feel sad, but I didn't. I felt like losing a full term baby must mean more than miscarrying so early. It is awful to lose a full term baby, but it is also awful to lose a baby right after you find out that he exists. I talked with M about it all. Even during her immense pain, she helped me acknowledge the importance of my little baby.

A little over a month after losing my baby, I became pregnant with my precious Little Man.

My medical record now says, "Gravida 3, Para 2" (3 Pregnancies, 2 Births) and I am proud of that little number 3. It is the only record of my little baby that lived such a short time.

Update: L is now the mommy of sweet little N, 12 months old. M is the mom of 2 year old R and has another one due to arrive in April. Interesting little note, N and R both have beautiful red hair!

Monday, September 11

Fire Drill

You won't believe what Little Man did to me Friday morning!

I walked Tater into her preschool class, just as I do every morning. As usual, Little Man was on my left hip, so my right hand was free to sign papers, unzip the Pepto pink backpack, toss the food into the snack basket, wipe a face one more time, or whatever. I slid the sign in clipboard over close to the wall, so Little Man and I would be out of the way. I didn't want to disturb anyone. I finished the last letter of my name just as it happened.


I turned to see where the awful noise was coming from. It was the fire alarm.

Little Man pulled the fire alarm! Oh my God! Make it stop, make it stop!

I quickly learned that you can't make it stop without a key. Crap! Then I looked around to see that people were pouring out of the classrooms. They were looking at me and I was touching the stupid alarm. They thought I did it! Oh no!

That is when I totally bailed on Little Man. I stopped trying to turn the blasted thing off and started pointing at my precious little boy. "He did it." What loving support, huh?

Tater's Teacher calmly took the clipboard and all of the kids in her charge and headed down the stairs. We followed the herd. Humiliation.

Once we were all outside and accounted for, everyone was assured that there was no fire. Thank goodness, the fire department was told it was a false alarm before they left the station, and the alarm was shut off quickly.

Tater's teacher said not to worry. They needed to do a firedrill in September, and this would satisfy the requirement.

My dad, an ex-fire inspector, thought the whole thing was super funny. He said it was payback for some of the ways I embarrassed him when I was a kid.

Great. Little Man already has a reputation at preschool, and he is only 15 months old.

Sunday, September 10

My First Post! Woo Hoo!

Fuzzball Chronicles? I'm not talking lint. I'm talking hair. Shoulder length, dark blond, moderately curly, and very frizzy.

Since middle school I have been fighting with my do. To make it worse, I live in the South. I have a flat iron that gets used every six months or so. If I decide to straighten, it will rain. Poof.

These days I am trying to embrace my curls. It is just too much trouble to try to make my hair be something it isn't. Mousse and gel are my friends, as well as any product that is described using these words: moisturizing, anti-frizz, smoothing, dry, damaged, unruly...

For anyone struggling with tresses that twirl, I highly recommend the book Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massey. It changed my life!