The Fuzzball Chronicles: the Life and Times of Curly Mommy

Do you struggle with overeating or constant dieting? Have you been on a diet and lost all the weight, but need support not to go back to unhealthy behaviors? Do you ever feel out of control and unable to stop eating? Do you eat out of frustration, anger, or fear? Does it seem impossible to eat only when you are hungry and stop when you are full? Do you eat to feel comfort? Me? Yes. THE PROBLEM Throughout our lives many of us have turned to food to ease our pain or fear. We felt comfort in eating and found ourselves turning to food whenever we were hurt, angry or frustrated. Food became our comforter, our friend. Some of us may have one certain food that we can not stop eating, or are unable to eat only in healthy amounts. Some of us may have been emotionally, physically or sexually abused and use food to cope with the emotions of those events. Some of us may have had healthy eating habits as children or young adults, but at some point in our lives we chose to overeat and lost the abili...

In my profile I state that I believe in eating whole, natural foods. This recipe does not fall into that category, but it sure does taste good. Each Christmas for the last 3 years I have made some sort of braid or ring. I got this recipe out of The Pampered Chef cookbook All the Best from Our Kitchens to Yours. It looks really impressive, so it is great for parties. Broccoli Chicken Braid 2 C. cooked chicken, chopped 1 C. broccoli, chopped 1/2 C. red bell pepper, chopped 1 clove garlic, pressed 8 oz. sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded 1/2 C. mayonnaise 2 tsp. All-purpose Dill Mix (or 1 teaspoon dill weed ) 1/4 tsp. salt 2 pkg. (8 oz. each) refrigerated crescent rolls 1 egg white, lightly beaten 2 T. slivered almonds Preheat oven to 375ºF. Chop chicken and broccoli and place in bowl. Add chopped red bell pepper. Press garlic over mixture and shred cheese over mixture. Add mayonnaise, dill mix and salt. Mix well. Unroll package of crescent rolls. Do not separate. Arrange longest sides of do...

Christmas was really good this year. We didn't try to please everyone and we didn't go overboard. Well, we spent too much money, but I am talking about overcommitment today. Our front yard isn't lit up. I put my 3 year-old Wal-Mart wreath on the door and made bows for the carriage lights on the garage and the mailbox. That's it for the outdoors. One of our neighbors asked if we had a Christmas tree inside. Uh, yep. Their yard is really "decorated." I guess he thought we weren't celebrating sufficiently. I have a lot less to clean up and I am happy about that. We told our family that we would be at our house on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We did not travel on either of those days. We did gather with my extended family on the 23rd and with Yardboy's family on 26th. Both families are about an hour away, so we easily made it back home both nights. We decided that is was important for our children to go to bed at home on Christmas Eve and wake up at ho...

Little Man and Tater Reading The Nativity in Christmas pajamas.

K introduced me to Gorilla Glue last spring when we were working on the MOPS float. Thank you K. I love the stuff. When I pulled all of my Christmas crap out of the attic several things were broken. Gorilla glue came to the rescue. Santa's music box stays in now. The little angle is not severed in half anymore. The little kid being attacked by the dog is now attached to her legs and the Nut Cracker snow globe has it's hat again. The down side of gorilla glue? It doesn't work very well on baskets made of paper grocery bags (another project I did with K) and it stains clothing permanently . The purple fabric is the shirt I wore while working on the MOPS float. It is now a sleep shirt. You can see the stain on the upper left of the close up photo. If I were Oprah, I would give this stuff away on my "Favorite Things" episode.

The Christmas celebrations are in full swing! Tater loves the Advent candles. She gets so excited talking about the meanings of the candles and can't wait to light the "BIG WHITE ONE!" Last week we were at the Gaylord Palms Resort in Orlando, Florida. Yardboy had to go there for a work conference so that meant the hotel room was FREE. If we had to pay for it ourselves, we would never stay there. We couldn't pass up the opportunity. While we were there the kids and I went to see ICE . It was amazing and cold. Little Man was very unhappy about having to wear a parka (provided by ICE) but enjoyed the experience after he got comfortable. Tater got to go down an ice slide over and over and over. I'm sure the idea is funny for people who live in cold climates. We really enjoyed our 20 minutes of nine degree "weather" but were very happy to get back to sunny Florida weather. We arrived back home around 4:00 p.m. Thursday, and then it was off again. We were at...

I love Christmas and what it stands for. I don't love the time required of me at Christmas. I am too busy to even think. Maybe I will have the time to write a real post soon. Until then, Merry Christmas.

Tonight I went to Celebrate Recovery for the second time. Last time I went to CR101. This time I went to a real small group. I didn't know which small group I would go to until I was actually in the worship service. I planned on one thing, but God had other plans. I really didn't want to go that group. I thought I was past all of that junk, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to be there. I am proud to say that I listened and went to the right one . I am looking forward to experiencing what God has in store for me. God is continuing the work he started in October related to fear. He is also attacking the deep seeded anger and resentment that penetrates into all parts of my life, especially my relationships with those I love. I am expecting some deep healing. Healing that I didn't even know I needed until recently. The other side of the blue chip says, "Celebrate Recovery MY GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR YOU."

I could not ask for a better Thanksgiving. We spent time with family and cherished friends. It was wonderful. What am I thankful for? The amazing renewal God is doing in my life God's faithfulness to me even when I wasn't faithful to Him My husband, Yardboy My daughter, Tater My son, Little Man My parents My brother, Cabbagehead My extended family (including in-laws) My friends Good health for my family and myself Our church My husband's job Being a stay-at-home mom The right to be a Christian The right to homeschool The Cat To Yardboy for financing my college education Breastfeeding My home, which is much nicer than I need All of the stuff (that I trip over) in my home My paid-for 2001 Honda Accord My frizzy hair Good teeth Our multicultural, multiracial neighborhood Mild southern winters Good health insurance LASIK surgery (not covered by said insurance) High speed internet Our computer, thanks to Yardboy's dad Blog therapy

Two years ago I went with K to my first Third Day concert. I was pregnant, queasy, and miserable, but I was also hooked! I couldn't wait to see them again. They came back to our city earlier this month as a part of the Wherever You Are Tour. I ordered our tickets within minutes of them going on sale. Good seats too. Not on the floor, though. I'm only 5'1" and floor seats would mean that I would have a terrific view of big heads. My brother, Cabbagehead, suggested seats straight in front of the stage but in the first set of risers off the floor. Yardboy and I took Cabbagehead to the show for his 25th birthday. My friend K and her husband went too, but they bought their own tickets. Just as Cabbagehead said, the seats were perfect. We were right behind the sound booth, so the we were in the best location for quality sound. The concert was wonderful! We even enjoyed the opening acts, Hyper Static Union and the David Crowder Band . My name is Fuzzball Gomer .

I'm still here. Things are going fine, just crazy busy. Last weekend we went to a Third Day concert (more about that later). Then we went to my baby brother's 25th birthday party. Today we are off to Georgia for a wedding. I am looking forward to seeing lots of childhood friends there. Next week we will be camping at my parent's house for Thanksgiving. Yardboy and I are really excited and so is Tater. This is her first camping trip. This will be pretty primitive camping, complete with a latrine! Woo hoo. We are going to have Thanksgiving dinner out in the woods. I'm not sure how many people will be there, but I know it will be a bunch. My good friend W and her family are coming. I think it will be so much fun. Should we wear Pilgrim hats?

We sang this song in Worship today. I first heard it when I was pregnant with Little Man and it meant so much to me then. Today, I am taking it as a challenge. I Dare You to Move by Switchfoot Welcome to the planet Welcome to existence Everyone's here Everyone's here Everybody's watching you now Everybody waits for you now What happens next? What happens next? I dare you to move I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor I dare you to move I dare you to move Like today never happened Today never happened before Welcome to the fallout Welcome to resistance The tension is here The tension is here Between who you are and who you could be Between how it is and how it should be I dare you to move I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor I dare you to move I dare you to move Like today never happened Today never happened Maybe redemption has stories to tell Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell Where can you run to escape from yours...

I got the idea for an interactive blog from fellow blogger, Cheri . The questions are extremely easy. Butter or Margerine? Sweet Tea or Unsweet Tea? White or Whole Wheat? Veggies or Meat? Here are my answers: butter or flax oil, sweet tea (sometimes with Splenda), whole wheat, veggies and meat. I know. It is kind of lame, but humor me. I want to know who reads. If you read, please answer. That means you too, Yardboy.

After the kids go to bed Yardboy and I will drink creamy sweet decaf coffee and eat the leftover candy corn cake I made for Halloween. Yummy. Yardboy and I love coffee any time of day. I devised a plan this evening to deal with overindulgence of coffee and the cream and sugar necessary to drink the stuff. I am taking my free coffee maker out of the kitchen and placing it in the garage. No maker, no coffee. Right? We are going to switch to tea, which we also love. We don't need loads of cream and sugar to enjoy tea. We can even stick our pinky fingers out and feel extra snooty. Tomorrow we get serious about eating healthy . We are usually very good, at least compared to the average American. However, we have been slipping lately. Wish me luck. I may have to stop by Starbucks for a fix.

The telephone is the lifeline of stay-at-home moms. It is the singlemost important tool that we use to fight loneliness, frustration, and depression. It helps us stay connected to the adult world. The telephone can also be a trap, a gossip trap. I am ashamed to say that I have fallen into this trap on countless occasions. I am now clawing my way out and I don't want to fall back in. No more gossip. I must stop. Friends, I am telling you in hopes that you will help keep me accountable. Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. I wanted to find a couple of verses about gossip, but my search yielded 49 verses . Wow. It looks like God has a lot to say about gossip.

This evening Tater again said that Little Man was being "a little p****." This time we realized that she was saying "prissy" and and not the other P word. Now, usually parents aren't too thrilled to hear their little boy described as being prissy, but in this case it is a relief. Tater isn't a potty mouth. She just can't say her R's.

I called our pediatrician to get Little Man's lab results. First of all, it took me about 20 minutes of non-stop calling to finally get a person. When I finally got the receptionist, she put me on hold for the nurse. I have been on hold for an hour now! In that time I have read Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel aloud, helped Tater do a writing worksheet, a reading worksheet, and write her name three times. I also responded to an email, took a third grade geography test and read two blogs. Oh man, I am still on hold. Do I hang up and lose my spot in line? Did they forget me? I have a kink in my neck from holding the phone with my shoulder. Answer, please!

It seems that I draw hurting people to me. That doesn't bother me. Maybe that is why I became a nurse. I enjoy helping people. I like influence them in a good way and to see them get better. Internalizing their problems is not fine, and that is what I do. I take their problems on and make them my own. I really want to fix them. It just kills me not to be able to make it all better. I think about them constantly. No, maybe obsess is a better word. I obsess about my friends' pain. Then their problems invade my sleep. I wake up frequently in the night and instantly think of them. I even dream about their problems. Boy do I get up tired after a night like that. Sometimes I even need to take a sleeping pill to get a good night's sleep. When I internalize others' issues it is hard to keep the black cloud of depression and anxiety away. The obsessive thoughts, restless nights, anxiety and depression have now been joined by stomach pain. That is a miserable cycle. I think about...

Today Tater and Little Man were playing in a huge pile of clean laundry. They were laughing and having fun. Then I heard it. What did she say? No, surely not. Yep. She was calling her little brother "P****." "Come here P****." "You're a little P****" I composed myself and calmly asked, "Tater, what did you call your brother?" "P****." "What does that mean?" "I don't know, I just made it up." "I see, but don't call him that anymore. It doesn't sound very nice." "Okay Mommy." I wonder if she heard that word on the playground this morning. Maybe she really did make it up. I am hoping the word doesn't pop up again at some inopportune time, like Sunday School.

Everybody knows about me. I really don't have many secrets. For the most part, I am an open book. I guess that is why It infuriates me to learn that some truth has been kept from me. I feel betrayed. I feel that I have a right to know. I feel lied to. Then I lose control and my words hurt the ones I love. "Why didn't you tell me?" "It hurts me that you kept this from me." "If you kept this from me, what else are you hiding?" "I don't know you." "Who are you?" Ugh! That's stupid! They finally confide in me and I put a guilt trip on them. Maybe I need to just expect secrets. Everybody has something to hide. Right? People keep secrets to protect themselves and the ones they love. I have to learn not to take it personally. It isn't about me. It is about keeping hurt, guilt, shame, and anger at bay. If any of you have shared a secret with me and I reacted badly, I am truly sorry. If any of you want to confide in me in the...