The Fuzzball Chronicles: the Life and Times of Curly Mommy

I am human.  I am real. I am woman. I am imperfect, and that is okay. I care what people think of me in relation to integrity, honesty, and intelligence. I cannot stand to be called a liar.  I often feel invisible. I'm short, so people often look over me in a crowd. I'm middle aged, fat, and frumpy. People seem to look through me. I feel irrelevant, especially in a crowd of younger people. I have a chronic fatigue, pain, depression, and anxiety disorder. My doctors call it Fibromyalgia. Could it be something else? Sure, I'm not stuck on the name. I view it as a placeholder until a better diagnosis comes around. I know the chronic fatigue, pain, depression, and anxiety are real. My lifestyle can help or hurt me in my struggle with fibromyalgia. Proper diet, exercise, and sleep are essential to living my best life with fibro. I struggle to maintain proper diet, exercise, and sleep. I was raised by Jesus Freaks during the Jesus Movement at a charismatic non-denominational chur...

Why use this antiquated platform again? I'm writing here to process, formulate, and solidify my thoughts and beliefs about who I am, who I want to be, and how to live going forward. So many things have changed for me. The events of 2016 to present pulled the curtain of religion back to reveal the puppet master of conservativism and Christian Nationalism. Do I still believe in God? Yes. I believe there is something much greater than myself. I'm not quite sure how I define that right now, but the belief is still there. Do I believe in Jesus Christ? Yes. At some level I believe. Do I believe that my fellow humans (who have been raised in different traditions) will be dammed to an eternity of torture for not believing in the sacrifice? No. Would a merciful god condemn billions of souls simply because they have not heard and believe a story? No. That act isn't consistent with nature of a good god. I feel manipulated and controlled by leaders who point to an ancient collection of...

Hello old blog. It has been such a long time. I didn't lose the weight (I gained), my cholesterol is still high (and my liver is angry), and I still use my APAP religiously (at higher settings). I'm middle aged. I have crow's feet and grey at my temples. I don't get carded when I buy beer for my husband (I don't drink--bad liver).  My oldest child graduated and moved out. She's into all things goth and punk. My middle child will (hopefully) graduate from high school next year. He's into all things punk, and metal.  My youngest child will be starting 8th grade this fall. She's funny, compassionate, and compliant. I'm waiting for her head to start spinning... My husband is the same reliable guy he was before, but now he has an APAP, thinning grey hair, and some weight around the middle.  We are in the same city, but now we live in a much larger home on two wooded acres. We have the same two old dogs, a couple of cats, and three fish. Now we also have e...