Saturday, March 15

Dates and Numbers

LMP: 1-21-08

That would make conception somewhere around 1-4-08, but that isn't possible.

Conception happened on 2-10-08, or a few days later.

By LMP, I am at 7 weeks, 5 days, but I know that date is screwy. Remember, I have crazy cycles.

By the date that I believe I conceived, I am at 6 weeks, 6 days.

Nausea and vomiting has been miserable this week. I've spent most of my time in bed (except when removing Silly Putty from hair and other essential tasks of motherhood). I have done a pretty fine job of shutting others out. I am supremely grouchy.

My motto this week has been:
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Don't walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the heck

Tuesday morning I was feeling a little less than terrible, so Little Man and I went into the pregnancy center where I volunteer. I had my friend and nurse manager do an ultrasound on me. We saw a great gestational sac and a pretty little round yolk sac. We expected to see a
heartbeat, but didn't.

Maybe I am not as far along as I thought. Maybe it is too soon to see a heartbeat.

I left the center with a picture of my little yolk sac and two papers. One paper's header read "Miscarriage Precautions" and the other paper was a statement for my doctor's office saying that I needed to follow up with them.

My OB nurse got me in the office that morning. Yardboy met me and Little Man there. My midwife did a pelvic exam and said everything looked fine. Then she ordered blood work, a quantitative hCG. They drew the first one in the office and I had the next blood draw done on Thursday.

I got my lab results back last night at 5:45pm. Tuesday's hCG count was 53,136. On Thursday, the level was at 64,992. In healthy pregnancy, hCG levels double about every 48 hours. Obviously, my numbers didn't come anywhere near to doubling. Another thing I am wondering about is how high those numbers are. They seem pretty high to me, but I know very little about it all.

My OB nurse told me to come into the office first thing Monday morning for another ultrasound. Apparently they think the dates and numbers are funky too.

Now I don't know if I should hope for a healthy baby, or just hope this all ends soon. My emotions bounce all over the place. I feel numb, hopeful, sad, relieved, guilty... My mind is not a very pleasant place to visit right now.

I do know that I am still very miserably nauseated and that I am still pregnant. What I don't know is if I have a viable pregnancy. I will see what Monday morning brings.

Yes, this is a big exercise in trusting God.

1 comment:

Sunny said...

Praying for a miracle and peace to envelop you. HUGS!