Sunday, September 16

In Hiding

I know these thoughts are not healthy,
But I have to give them a voice.
If I don't acknowledge the pain,
How can it ever get better?

Here goes...

Where are you?
Are you ever coming back?
I'm lonely.
I miss my friend.

I guess you are in survival mode now.
The pain must be immense.
I don't know.
I assume.

I didn't cause the pain,
So why do you run from me when hurt?
Maybe I pushed too hard.
Maybe I expected too much.

I suppose you don't have the reserve to deal with my issues too.
I must not be safe anymore.
I don't want to add my insecurities to you burden,
But I can't stand this silence!


Anonymous said...

I always try to bully my way into people's hearts. Want me to come over and open up a can of kickass?

Seriously, Whoever she is, she doesn't know what she is missing.
She doesn't know the value of a good friend. She doesn't know where to turn, and that is her main problem.

Don't let it hurt too bad, it probably has nothing to do with you but she is taking her pain out on you because she knows that in the end you will forgive her. Let time and God heal her wounds, maybe one day she will tell you.

cheri said...

I have a very difficult friend too.

I constantly have to give our relationship to God. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me know what to say and when to say it.

I'll be praying for you too.

There was a long period of silence between me and my friend. I had called her repeatedly, always making the first move.

I quit and didn't hear from her in months. Silence on her part.

I finally called her ("Why do I always have to be the first one to make a move?" I whined to God).

She hadn't called me because she 'thought I had enough friends'. Her words.

Turns out she was the one who was hurting.

I do have a wonderful group of friends, but now I recognize that not everyone does and some of those who need friends the most put up the highest and strongest walls.

I've asked God to help me be gracious in reaching out to her.
After all, look what He did for me.

Crickey said...

Dearest CM,

I love you so much. I know we aren't close, but I do love you dearly. I hate for you to hurt. Anonymous said it so well--your friend doesn't know what she is missing. I'm praying for the Father to make this situation what He wants it to be. And for Him to let you know how much you are loved by many.

Curly said...

You guys are amazing! I really needed the encouragement. Thanks so much.

Rebecca at the Well said...

I know this post was long long ago, but it hit me so very strongly. I am dealing with so much pain right this moment that all I want to do, is stop hurting. Anyway I can and believe it or not, it helps to know that someone else has faced something simular.